5 Tips for a Good 'No-blame' Divorce

With over 30 years’ experience, Hughes Paddison’s Family Team are experts at helping couples navigate what can be one of the biggest traumas they will experience in their lifetime. 

With years of experience of tumultuous divorce settlements, lengthy negotiations and court wrangling we have also learned it doesn’t always have to be this way.  Our Family Team have learned how separating couples can minimise animosity and come out the other side of divorce proceedings, still remaining friends. 

No-blame divorce

It is unquestionable that 2022 has seen a seismic shift in the way separation and divorce is settled in the UK. The advent of ‘no-blame’ divorce has opened the floodgates for many unhappy or unfulfilled relationships to come to an end. With adultery, unreasonable behaviour, and separation no longer a legal requirement to end a marriage, falling out of love and growing apart is now enough to call it a day. 

Good Divorce Week 

Resolution is a community of family justice professionals who work with families and individuals to resolve issues in a constructive way, of which Hughes Paddison is a member. This year during Good Divorce Week (28 November - 2 December), Resolution and it’s members are raising awareness of the alternatives to court proceedings for divorce settlement. 

Battling with the backlog of cases caused by the COVID pandemic, our family courts are under immense pressure. The more people who choose an amicable approach to divorce, the more we can help alleviate the strain our family courts are experiencing.

Conscious Uncoupling 

For those considering a ‘no blame’ divorce, this seems the ideal opportunity to keep separation amicable and settled out of court. So perhaps, ‘conscious uncoupling’ (a phrase made infamous by the celebrity separation of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin) could become reality rather than being reserved just for Hollywood ‘A-listers’. 

Regardless of whether there is blame to be apportioned or not, separation is still one of the biggest traumas a person will go through. With that in mind Hughes Paddison offer 5 tips for an amicable divorce. 

Hughes Paddison’s 5 tips for an amicable divorce: 

1. Children always come first

There are several options for families, carers, and children to resolve disputes without having to take matters to Court.   Family mediation services are available as well as the option to work out issues through the collaborative law process. Our family law experts will work with all parties concerned to find the best solution for your family situation.

When you deal with Hughes Paddison your family matters will be treated sensitively and professionally. We will look to provide you with practical advice and solutions for you and your child or children’s needs. 

Removing the need for financial court proceedings and keeping divorce amicable, not only makes a less stressful time for both parties, but also ensures that any ongoing relationships relating to shared childcare will be easier. This is also better for any children involved as they won’t need to see their parents' hostility and arguments with one another.
 

2. Be kind 

Without exception separation is a highly emotional time, but it’s important to remember the emotional impact is not just being felt by you, but for everyone involved. Taking time to consider what is best for both parties and any children involved can pay dividends in the long run. Typically, the more amicable the relationship the quicker a finance settlement can be made and childcare arrangements can be agreed. Keeping arguments and disagreements to a minimum will also mean less legal negotiation and therefore lower legal fees. Most importantly taking a kinder approach can mean better relationships for the long term, which is crucial when there are children involved. 
 

3. Focus on what’s really important  

At first, when emotions are running at their highest, it can be tempting to be protective, defensive and have a grab-it-all-first approach. However, it pays to take some time to think what’s truly most important to you for the longer term. For example, if you can both agree that your children’s happiness is most important, this puts into perspective more trivial decisions like deciding who keeps the vinyl collection and may make these many decisions much quicker and easier to make. 
 

4. Agree your financial arrangements

Think about which areas of your divorce you really need professional legal help with. If you can agree most of your living arrangements, care of the children, who needs the household items most, this will help focus where you really need legal guidance and advice. This often comes down to joint financial decisions involving, pensions, debts, mortgages, investments and so on, all of which our legal experts manage on a regular basis. 

If you can come to an agreed financial arrangement with your ex-partner out of court, this can be recorded via a means of a Consent Order. With the consent of the parties this is lodged at the court and, if acceptable to the court, the final settlement made and issued to both parties. Agreeing all of this outsidecourt proceedings means minimising court time and costs. 
 

5. Keep communicating 

If you can keep communicating and keeping everyone’s emotions in check, this really is an invaluable step to making your divorce happier and your longer-term relationship more amicable. 

Expert separation advice

We are specialists in dealing with all matters surrounding relationships and we can also assist with implementing and assisting with associated work required such as updating Wills, Conveyancing (in the event of a sale or transfer of property), and the restructuring of family businesses/transfer of shares.

The team offers a free-of-charge 30-minute introductory appointment to new clients of the firm. Please do not hesitate to contact us.